Carolina Pepper

Once you are friends

So lovely to have a friendly and seemingly sensible person to chew the fat with. I need someone to be a calming kitten in a storm of Barghests.

He didn't always use to be this way. He was a miserable bugger back in the day, but an "experience" involving a flatulent cow and a candle nearly killed him and bizarrely made him appreciate fine farts.

I preferred when he was glum to be truthful.

Once they like you

If I ever get into bed and lay on a poopee pouch again, I swear by Hyalis deathly glare that I will send the prankster flying through the nearest window.

Am I just being a killjoy?

I was brought up as a sensible girl. Always please and thank you's and mind how you sit and don't swallow your food.

My toe is itching, and I think it's itching to kick somebody, so they flip into a big pile of fertiliser.

Asking for help

Could you help me? I'll love you for it.

I think I need to embrace the dragon while simultaneously putting a "Kick Me" sign on its back.

I am a bit nervous, though, about causing any bother, so maybe you could kick the dragon in the bangers instead? Basically, I want to stop being Mrs Serious and start being Little Miss Chief..

I was thinking you could give some laxatives to a sheep and ride it through Poppyhill. That could be fun!

I can then experience the prank by proxy. You are a star.