Arthur Brown

Once you are friends

Ooooh, you know what I fancy right now, friend? A lovely, juicy pear. Or a nice apple. I do like a bit of fruit. Nature's bounty, y'know? We Brown's just adore being part of the whole system. It's like - wooooahhh! Think about it, man. The apple grows, we eat the apple, our bodies take all the good and spit out the bad, and then that badness helps grow more apples.

Actually, when I put it like that, it does make apples seem less appealing.

Once they like you

Oh man, I must tell you about a dream I had last night. I was in some cave, and all the animals I had ever eaten were there. They each, in turn, asked me to bite into them. They were competing to be the tastiest. But what is really strange is that I went to bed a little hungry and woke up completely full. That's like, wow, so freaky. Can we actually eat in our dreams and be nourished? Crazy.

Asking for help

I think I might need some help. My dreams have been getting increasingly vivid, and now I wake up sometimes with grass in my toes and dirty soles. I soon realised I was sneaking out at night to our underground store and sniffing pork chops. I couldn't bring myself to cook them up, though, as I know it would upset Theresa. Perhaps I need one moving experience to get it out of my system?

Could you take me to the Pig Auction on Festival Green when they are on? I think I need that to cure myself, no pun intended.

When it is done

Woooahhh, that smell! It is absolutely disgusting. It has put me off pork for life, man.

I needed to clear my head, and this smell has cleared my head, nose, lungs and soul!

Thanks for the help, friend.